royce. elzhi. supastition-
the original:
my version:
more soon...
custamato~
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
art imitates...
it occurs to me that i haven't updated a whole lot in these moments leading up to '09. honestly, i haven't had much to say.
life seems to be on hold for me at times. all the exciting things either take a back seat to something else, or never come to pass. i don't know if the rest of you go through the same things as me. i do know that routines don't add up to a healthy sense of freedom for me. i never wanted a rinse-repeat kind of life for myself.
i have been trying to spot patterns in things for the last few years. you might call them cycles...same difference. there is one thing that i think i can safely say. i am trapped in a pattern, or cycle...same...difference. when something exciting gets my boxer-briefs in a bunch, i sit with bated breath as it all plays out. however, as random as it may seem, the fact that things are not playing out is a pattern. a suffocating, frustrating pattern.
if one were a gambler, one could possibly win money betting that i'm impatient. this is true. of course, one has to take into account the amount of time i spent in wishful thinking because knowledge wasn't readily available to me.
i'm what you might call a dreamer. i dream big and often but never a dream that is inconceivable. here i am years later, finding out that info IS available...but i'm stuck dialing up to get it in a fiber optic age. it comes when it wants, and only in a sloooooow trickle. that's cool i guess. at least its coming, but jesus...the years wasted.
i know some of you may read this and think: I would just GO OUT and GET what I needed. ME, ME, ME.
well...as founder, and sole writer on this site- i am truly sorry, oh lord of all worlds. i am simply not as advanced as ye, flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. some of us need a little more to move on than blind ambition. some of us aren't driven in the same way as others. we all aren't wired the same. that doesn't make us or me less worthy, it just makes us (or me) different.
that said, please tuck your face back in your ass and move onto another blog. i don't need your healing hand here. thanks.
*sigh*
maybe it's just '09 jitters. maybe it's life jitters. i'm just sick of having talent only to find out that talent doesn't get you anywhere. some of us were born to be artist, or entertainers...some of us were born to watch artists and entertainers live our dreams for us. that just doesn't sound right. art shouldn't be a royal hierarchy set aside for the rich and/or connected.
it should be for artists.
-custamato
Sunday, November 9, 2008
pretend it never was...
finally back...
i've been wanting to get back into my college frame of mind for over a year now. i've finally managed to scrap my way back into a class.
in a few short months i'll be back on the frontlines. a fulltime student again.
the seasons are changing. so are our dispositions. interesting to watch. there is something rueful about the switch from summer to fall. still, there is a beauty surrounding the time for me. i think i'm more comfortable in the frigid months as it is. everything will die soon...physically and figuratively. those deaths will give way to new breakthroughs, new loves, new lives.
pain as an afrodisiac.
next spring we will all pretend we are ok because the sun is out and everyone sees us.
maybe we will be ok...
custamato~
Monday, October 20, 2008
looking back on it...
a little while ago i wrote a post (look at me, look at you). i didn't think anyone would really pay attention to it. but in fact someone was paying attention. i got this insightful comment that i'm going to share with the rest of you-
rrougher says: Responsibility these days is like a ripped piece of paper someone has, that they tape to a piece of paper you have, and then disown their piece. Because in that way they take credit for identifying the problem, admit to being involved, and pretend like they have helped fixed it in some way.
But having stuck the responsibility tape to someone else, have performed their responsibility and are no longer responsible.
These same people go around critiquing what you do. Making it their business when they weren't even involved in the first place. Taking credit for what you did or belittling it, either way, ripping little pieces off your sheet of paper. Which is how these people get their damn scraps of paper in the first place.
Because no one wants to be responsible but everyone wants to have an opinion. Which is stupid because opinions are transient, only existing for a brief moment when expressed and even then are essentially worthless.
I think we need to stop taking responsibility and start taking some fucking action. Like Mos said 'don't talk about it be about it' and 'freedom ain't free' so you better go out and make some moves cause your going to have to spend more than your piece of shit opinion to get it.
truuuue.
-custamato
ps- sometimes if i don't notice that i've gotten a comment. if i haven't posted in a while i won't know that i have one until i log in next.
but better late then never. if you comment, i WILL see it sooner or later so...rest assured, i hear you talking.
rrougher says: Responsibility these days is like a ripped piece of paper someone has, that they tape to a piece of paper you have, and then disown their piece. Because in that way they take credit for identifying the problem, admit to being involved, and pretend like they have helped fixed it in some way.
But having stuck the responsibility tape to someone else, have performed their responsibility and are no longer responsible.
These same people go around critiquing what you do. Making it their business when they weren't even involved in the first place. Taking credit for what you did or belittling it, either way, ripping little pieces off your sheet of paper. Which is how these people get their damn scraps of paper in the first place.
Because no one wants to be responsible but everyone wants to have an opinion. Which is stupid because opinions are transient, only existing for a brief moment when expressed and even then are essentially worthless.
I think we need to stop taking responsibility and start taking some fucking action. Like Mos said 'don't talk about it be about it' and 'freedom ain't free' so you better go out and make some moves cause your going to have to spend more than your piece of shit opinion to get it.
truuuue.
-custamato
ps- sometimes if i don't notice that i've gotten a comment. if i haven't posted in a while i won't know that i have one until i log in next.
but better late then never. if you comment, i WILL see it sooner or later so...rest assured, i hear you talking.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Small Metal Objects...
so here it is...another ep.
(CLICK THIS PICTURE)
i'm pretty proud of this ep and the response its gotten so far. it was a lot of fun to make. i took a trip to albany and recorded it in roughly 48 hours. the fastest i've ever put a project down.
the whole thing has a fun vibe that was born from that spontaneity. i did some of the production at home, some while i was in new york. wrote some of the ep at home, some in new york...
it clocks in a little shorter than my last (which was "f*ck has day" if you don't know). 20:32 seconds to be exact.
so, here it is: Small Metal Objects
(in case you don't trust your boy and you want to listen to it first)
as a matter of fact...let me give you the track by track break down. i haven't done that before:
it was my second time in albany, ny. i was there visiting my dudes deejay tone and awar. i was kicking around the idea of a follow up ep. i was going to originally do it on a digi 8-track that a friend of mine let me hold. tone told me to just wait til i get there and we'd knock it out in his studio. who am i to say no to that? his set up is official-
see?
we screwed around for most of the week, got some other stuff out of the way, then set out (in the last 2 days that i was there) to record the 'small metal objects' ep...
1. intro- the very last thing i did for the ep. i had a sample in mind but i didn't think it would work. i had done a trial version of this loop earlier and didn't like the way it sounded. i decided to try again real quick and it looped up real nice that time. everyone in the studio with me just looked at me like "wtf are u talking about, Has?"
2. ain't got it in ya- i did this beat in my basement in philly. i wanted to do something similar to certain dilla beats where he'd chop the sample up, but wouldn't add drums. he'd just let the drums in the sample act as the pattern. i chopped this sample up and rearranged it, let the drums in the sample rock. added the 808 for some bottom...nice. my man deejay tone put together the crazy switch into the o.g.
i wrote part of that song in the studio.
3. small metal objects- again i laced that in my basement. i had this record that i wanted to use for a long time but i was never satisfied with what i came up with. so i would leave it alone, come back to it later. for whatever reason, i wanted to rock over that break. i hooked it, then i need something to go over it. i pulled that record and listened to it AGAIN. i finally figured out a way to lace it that felt good. i wanted this beat to have a strange, mysterious quality. i think it worked out. i wrote the song in albany. i got a rough version of the beat, and i stayed up all night writing it. it was hard to come up with the lyrics to that one for some reason...
4. the quiet things- about my ex. anyone who's been through a bad breakup knows the peaks and vallies that come with it. one day your fine, the next day you miss her so much you ache. this was the catalyst for s.m.o.
i had this song that broke down into this part...it touched me, maaaan. i threw my usual rules out the window for this one. some deep drums made this one thump. i wrote this one at home in philly. it kinda just flowed from the pen. this became a favorite on the ep.
5. inhuman interlude- made this beat at home. used some new techniques on that beat. it came out fresh. originally i wanted to do a posse cut with this one. it just didn't pan out though. i searched for a rhyme to throw over this beat but i didn't find anything i was satisfied with and i didn't have time to write anything new. a friend from college left me a voicemail about f*ck has day. he went on a drunk rant and i thought it was hilarious. i always saved it with the intention of using it on something and it worked really well on here.
6. dogma- i made this beat in albany. i was gonna put a different song on the ep. an old song called 'sub ether'. i had a sample in mind for it but as i was looking for it i came across these strings and stopped to fiddle around with them. about 15 later i had the beat for dogma. i usually don't make beats that fast but it happened and i just went with it.
the rhyme was for a song with another rapper. it had no chance of ever being done so i took it, switched some stuff around and added some bars. it was too fly to let go to waste. i asked awar to hop on the track and it came out real retarded. deejay tone let me use this story record he had to add the little quotes. classic.
7. the commentary pt.1- while i looked for a rhyme for the inhuman beat deejay tone looked through some old pro tools sessions he had recently rediscovered. one of them had the sample for what would become the commentary. as it played i spit that rhyme and a few bars in we stopped dead in our tracks, shut the door to the studio and went in. he parallel double parked that beat sideways. it's the only track on the ep that i did not produce. it's also a big favorite from the ep.
8. small metal outro- another one i did in albany. me and tone went record shopping and picked up some crazy crate gems. when we got back to the crib, i grabbed this from one of the records i picked up. hooked it up on site in the studio. later when we were wrapping the ep up, i got in the studio and just said whatever came to mind. as a side note, we'd been watching that eli porter video real heavy while i was in albany. in this track i shout out envy, marv-o, and eli himself. i also quote some things from the video. on the title track awar, deejay tone and his friend, heath, lent us some vocal ambiance for the intro to the song...heath also quotes the video.
speaking of videos, here's the video (if you haven't seen...or have) i put together for "the quiet things":
there you have it. download and enjoy...
Lo Custamato~
(CLICK THIS PICTURE)
i'm pretty proud of this ep and the response its gotten so far. it was a lot of fun to make. i took a trip to albany and recorded it in roughly 48 hours. the fastest i've ever put a project down.
the whole thing has a fun vibe that was born from that spontaneity. i did some of the production at home, some while i was in new york. wrote some of the ep at home, some in new york...
it clocks in a little shorter than my last (which was "f*ck has day" if you don't know). 20:32 seconds to be exact.
so, here it is: Small Metal Objects
(in case you don't trust your boy and you want to listen to it first)
as a matter of fact...let me give you the track by track break down. i haven't done that before:
it was my second time in albany, ny. i was there visiting my dudes deejay tone and awar. i was kicking around the idea of a follow up ep. i was going to originally do it on a digi 8-track that a friend of mine let me hold. tone told me to just wait til i get there and we'd knock it out in his studio. who am i to say no to that? his set up is official-
see?
we screwed around for most of the week, got some other stuff out of the way, then set out (in the last 2 days that i was there) to record the 'small metal objects' ep...
1. intro- the very last thing i did for the ep. i had a sample in mind but i didn't think it would work. i had done a trial version of this loop earlier and didn't like the way it sounded. i decided to try again real quick and it looped up real nice that time. everyone in the studio with me just looked at me like "wtf are u talking about, Has?"
2. ain't got it in ya- i did this beat in my basement in philly. i wanted to do something similar to certain dilla beats where he'd chop the sample up, but wouldn't add drums. he'd just let the drums in the sample act as the pattern. i chopped this sample up and rearranged it, let the drums in the sample rock. added the 808 for some bottom...nice. my man deejay tone put together the crazy switch into the o.g.
i wrote part of that song in the studio.
3. small metal objects- again i laced that in my basement. i had this record that i wanted to use for a long time but i was never satisfied with what i came up with. so i would leave it alone, come back to it later. for whatever reason, i wanted to rock over that break. i hooked it, then i need something to go over it. i pulled that record and listened to it AGAIN. i finally figured out a way to lace it that felt good. i wanted this beat to have a strange, mysterious quality. i think it worked out. i wrote the song in albany. i got a rough version of the beat, and i stayed up all night writing it. it was hard to come up with the lyrics to that one for some reason...
4. the quiet things- about my ex. anyone who's been through a bad breakup knows the peaks and vallies that come with it. one day your fine, the next day you miss her so much you ache. this was the catalyst for s.m.o.
i had this song that broke down into this part...it touched me, maaaan. i threw my usual rules out the window for this one. some deep drums made this one thump. i wrote this one at home in philly. it kinda just flowed from the pen. this became a favorite on the ep.
5. inhuman interlude- made this beat at home. used some new techniques on that beat. it came out fresh. originally i wanted to do a posse cut with this one. it just didn't pan out though. i searched for a rhyme to throw over this beat but i didn't find anything i was satisfied with and i didn't have time to write anything new. a friend from college left me a voicemail about f*ck has day. he went on a drunk rant and i thought it was hilarious. i always saved it with the intention of using it on something and it worked really well on here.
6. dogma- i made this beat in albany. i was gonna put a different song on the ep. an old song called 'sub ether'. i had a sample in mind for it but as i was looking for it i came across these strings and stopped to fiddle around with them. about 15 later i had the beat for dogma. i usually don't make beats that fast but it happened and i just went with it.
the rhyme was for a song with another rapper. it had no chance of ever being done so i took it, switched some stuff around and added some bars. it was too fly to let go to waste. i asked awar to hop on the track and it came out real retarded. deejay tone let me use this story record he had to add the little quotes. classic.
7. the commentary pt.1- while i looked for a rhyme for the inhuman beat deejay tone looked through some old pro tools sessions he had recently rediscovered. one of them had the sample for what would become the commentary. as it played i spit that rhyme and a few bars in we stopped dead in our tracks, shut the door to the studio and went in. he parallel double parked that beat sideways. it's the only track on the ep that i did not produce. it's also a big favorite from the ep.
8. small metal outro- another one i did in albany. me and tone went record shopping and picked up some crazy crate gems. when we got back to the crib, i grabbed this from one of the records i picked up. hooked it up on site in the studio. later when we were wrapping the ep up, i got in the studio and just said whatever came to mind. as a side note, we'd been watching that eli porter video real heavy while i was in albany. in this track i shout out envy, marv-o, and eli himself. i also quote some things from the video. on the title track awar, deejay tone and his friend, heath, lent us some vocal ambiance for the intro to the song...heath also quotes the video.
speaking of videos, here's the video (if you haven't seen...or have) i put together for "the quiet things":
there you have it. download and enjoy...
Lo Custamato~
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
look at me, look at you...
here are some fun facts about me, my family, and 'friends':
1. my family and friends spend a sizable part of our existence ensuring that we don't coexist peacefully. they do this by refusing to live and let live. instead they find any and every opportunity to drill into my head that i and all that i am emotionally invested in, or believe is wrong. it breeds deep contempt on my part. i resent that i can not think and feel as i like...as i allow them to. it always ends in an argument or me conceding defeat in some way so as not to have to argue.
2. i was an only child. i was not spoiled. as an only child i was alone a lot. i value privacy and space.
3. that having been said, i wish i did not have to deal with many of the people that i do. they are, for the most part, passive/aggressive pricks. if i'm nice to them, they're suspicious. if i speak to them, they're nasty. if i don't, they're offended. fuck them all...how many of them are gonna cry for me when i'm gone? i think, not many.
this next part is not so much an admission about me, and family/friendly strained relationships than it is words of advice:
1. don't bother yourself with acknowledging other's points of view. don't value their opinions. don't take any responsibility for your own actions.
why?
because other people don't acknowledge YOURS, they more often than not don't value YOUR opinion and they never take responsibility for THEIR actions.
i spent a lot of time having this whole 'take responsibility for your actions' bullshit drilled into my head. so much so that i now have a complex about it. yet, no one ever takes responsibility for their actions or shortcomings...they just spend the whole time pointing out yours...over and over and over again.
2. don't be afraid to take a 'fuck you' stance on someone. your 'friends' more than likely say that about you all the time. and i can guarantee they take that stance on you more often than makes you comfortable.
3. don't let your friends gas you into thinking they're really there for you. for a while i tried to oppose the stance that you're born alone and you will die that way. but this was mainly because as selfish as my immediate family and my so-called close friends think i am, i am not selfish. i just don't have a lot. to the person who equates money with emotional support, this can be jarring. if they took you to the movies and paid for it...you can expect them to throw it in your face at some point in your relationship. however, the countless nights you stayed up late with them while they cried on the phone about some asshole...well, let's just say, the only way to get brownie points with most people is to 'buy' them. don't expect them to remember the positive things you bring to the relationship.
if you guys can't 'trade dollars' then you're probably not as close as you think. true story-
since i'm sure someone will be offended after reading this, i'll save any other thoughts for another post or something. to the people offended in reading this, go get your own blog. call it 'Fuck Has' or something clever like that. i'd read that...in fact you can use the links to my ep and give it to people. yea! tell them to download it and join in on the fuckfest. FUCK HAS!!
otherwise...gofuckyourself. uno
custamato~
1. my family and friends spend a sizable part of our existence ensuring that we don't coexist peacefully. they do this by refusing to live and let live. instead they find any and every opportunity to drill into my head that i and all that i am emotionally invested in, or believe is wrong. it breeds deep contempt on my part. i resent that i can not think and feel as i like...as i allow them to. it always ends in an argument or me conceding defeat in some way so as not to have to argue.
2. i was an only child. i was not spoiled. as an only child i was alone a lot. i value privacy and space.
3. that having been said, i wish i did not have to deal with many of the people that i do. they are, for the most part, passive/aggressive pricks. if i'm nice to them, they're suspicious. if i speak to them, they're nasty. if i don't, they're offended. fuck them all...how many of them are gonna cry for me when i'm gone? i think, not many.
this next part is not so much an admission about me, and family/friendly strained relationships than it is words of advice:
1. don't bother yourself with acknowledging other's points of view. don't value their opinions. don't take any responsibility for your own actions.
why?
because other people don't acknowledge YOURS, they more often than not don't value YOUR opinion and they never take responsibility for THEIR actions.
i spent a lot of time having this whole 'take responsibility for your actions' bullshit drilled into my head. so much so that i now have a complex about it. yet, no one ever takes responsibility for their actions or shortcomings...they just spend the whole time pointing out yours...over and over and over again.
2. don't be afraid to take a 'fuck you' stance on someone. your 'friends' more than likely say that about you all the time. and i can guarantee they take that stance on you more often than makes you comfortable.
3. don't let your friends gas you into thinking they're really there for you. for a while i tried to oppose the stance that you're born alone and you will die that way. but this was mainly because as selfish as my immediate family and my so-called close friends think i am, i am not selfish. i just don't have a lot. to the person who equates money with emotional support, this can be jarring. if they took you to the movies and paid for it...you can expect them to throw it in your face at some point in your relationship. however, the countless nights you stayed up late with them while they cried on the phone about some asshole...well, let's just say, the only way to get brownie points with most people is to 'buy' them. don't expect them to remember the positive things you bring to the relationship.
if you guys can't 'trade dollars' then you're probably not as close as you think. true story-
since i'm sure someone will be offended after reading this, i'll save any other thoughts for another post or something. to the people offended in reading this, go get your own blog. call it 'Fuck Has' or something clever like that. i'd read that...in fact you can use the links to my ep and give it to people. yea! tell them to download it and join in on the fuckfest. FUCK HAS!!
otherwise...gofuckyourself. uno
custamato~
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