Tuesday, October 30, 2007

9/10ths of the law...

i had a random itch for knowledge.

this time the subject was body language. if i'm not mistaken, it's considered to be the language of attraction. haha, that...is funny-

i read (and watched) a bunch of things about this, the most elusive of issues. it led me to a conclusion: this is a ridiculous language. furthermore, it can be too easily misconstrued. more often than not, it's mastered by manipulative assholes trying to con you out of your possessions, money, panties, etc.

you name it.

i'll let you in on a little quirk of mine. i can't STAND people. more frustrating than that, i can't do anything about the way they act.
if a man could be god...

i am so sick of reading body language to interpret microscopic things that can be said in mere words. i'm also sick of being perceived as some thing or another by smart-dumb motherfuckers that THINK they understand what i mean, what i'm like, and so on and so on and so the fuck on...

guess what, you fucking scientist? YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!

what is so hard about verbal communication?

i'd be bill gates rich if i had a dollar for every time some twat told me i was "too nice". i'm supposed to be nice you...nitwit, it's called proper child rearing! if your mother wasn't soooo busy teaching you how to home in on douche bags because their "body language" tells you he's a mysterious sex god of some sort, you wouldn't have been a raging head-case by the time i met you.

thanks mom!

a buddy of mine told me once that i didn't have enough "i don't give a fuck" in me. he was right. but he didn't tell me it was so easy to come by. it's a little costly though, at least it was for me. all you have to do...is get hurt by someone that you reeeeally like and/or love. it might take a couple tries, but once you get some, boy is it fun!

i have a little, but i'm in the market for more though. why? i'll tell you why.

because i'm sick and tired of the whole "does she like me? does she not? is she still interested? what did it mean when she said/did this? did it mean anything? should i kiss her? should i call her today? did i say the right thing there? is she seeing other people? is she being honest with me? is she..."

blah, blah and blah.

this is bullshit. it's bullshit because it's all relative. it's living based on perception not fact. body language through the eyes of a optimist or pessimist. an arrogant person, a guy/girl with low self esteem, a fucking spaniard, whatever. it's body "language" through the eyes of a flawed source. how can it be trusted so easily? know what? i've got an idea...and call me crazy but i think it might be interesting to at least try-

ladies: how 'bout...you stop deciding whether or not you wanna screw a guy...in 30 seconds? too crazy? i thought so.

fellas: how about...not letting that ONE bad experience with that hood rat/first love (but mostly hood rat) you had, destroy your perception of all females?

in fact, ladies, you try that one too-

the "language" is not easily mastered, but it is often misunderstood and misappropriated. perception can sometimes be your worst enemy. of course, YOU are the only master of your perception. get it? you're your own worst enemy? ugh...smart-dumb people.

how about i give you some food for thought? look into it if you feel SO inclined. ladies, do you know why most of the men who womanize do it?


here it is, although you're probably too busy fantasizing/fucking a womanizer to realize this: he womanizes because he has no self-esteem.

and i'm met with suspicious eyes and deafening silence...

never the less, a sign of superiority among men is women. the more you have, the more you must have going for you. thus if he (insert name of weak minded man you pine away for day and night that, surprise! doesn't want you) can "conquer" a lot of you, he'll always be able to mask the bigger issue that he's afraid to deal with, by focusing on the girl he's going to bang later.

aren't you glad your mom taught you (through her own relationship choices, smart-dumb ass) how to pick 'em?

say it with me: THANKS MOM!!

but hey, who am i? nothing more than your neighborhood nice guy, right?


Thursday, October 25, 2007

snake pit/friends change

you know...

it's amazing. the people you meet in life. you want to believe that they're all somehow different from one another.

and maybe some of them are...but maybe not. if you look behind their unimportant opinions, or their generosity...if you look past what they say and focus on HOW they say it, their body language and their behavior...people aren't that different.

some people are genuine, some people pretend to be. some try to buy you because the more they spend on you, the more you may overlook the red flags that warn you about the ugly things they'll do to you in the future.

so harmless in their intentions. they care about you soooo much...what I don't know is that "this" hurts THEM as much as it hurts me.


get over yourself you fucking weakling. your glorious connections are fake. your endless justifications are a defense mechanism built to mask your tawdry, meaningless fling. let you tell it, it's not deception...you just can't control what you feel. whine, whine, whine. what are you toddlers? you frauds need to grow a pair (ovaries or testes. pick one). let's make this crystal: you aren't heroes of the heart, your grand schemes always end ONE way. people like you are VULTURES. don't ever get yourself twisted and think that the way you operate is noble.

it isn't.

"friends change over money, change over women..."

a few years ago, i never had reason to question a person's motives. i now see that i should have been questioning everyone's motives at all times. not to be paranoid...just to be aware. it seems as though we're almost doomed. it's like there's no way to separate ourselves from the people that cause us strife, they seem to just reincarnate in the form of close "friends" elsewhere in life.

it's actually sad.

you go for years thinking you're tight with a person. as it would turn out, you never really knew them at all...

nice to meet you,


quiet storm...quiet screams

the song i never got to dedicate to you-


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

random thing


i'm pretty sure i've lost this bet-

it looks like darren won't be buying me dinner...


Sunday, October 14, 2007

12 to 6

in a strange twist, i found myself in refurbished warehouse last night.

even stranger was the literal way the place was put together. the "ware" part was on the bottom floor, but if you trot up your way up one flight of stairs...you'd find yourself in a house...of sorts.

i was bombarded by rampant music. it was repetitive and driving, though some of it had it's charm. on the outside there were no apparent signs that anything was happening in this place at all.

it was desolate.

the frosty fall(?) air lent to the feeling of loneliness...a morgue of a city block, laying asleep in the stillness of nighttime. nothing ever happens here. this neighborhood only hears the juicy details of events happening on streets more important than this.

walking through the unlabeled door (just following the sounds in the air) one could mistake this for a college kid's frat house. maybe him and his roommates are having a little shindig. i walked through the narrow threshold...flashing lights for ultraviolet dreams. one fellow checks my i.d and takes my 10 dollar cover. a lady wraps a band around my wrist...then i walk into a scene that's old for my friends, but new to a poor kid who lived on an avenue not far from here-

i've seen a few things in the past couple of days.

while the place did pop for a brief stint in the early a.m. it was never packed. it was interesting though. here, the 2-step is a relic from another dance scene. at this bash the "basic" step looked like brazilian martial arts.

what characters!

i danced some. i talked more. i grew tired as the grinding thump of the bass drum meddled with my gray matter. i played a knight in shining armor to a damsel in petite frames...her glasses, ironically, don't seem to grant her any clarity-

if they did, she would see me waiting (perhaps in vain) for her to get her shit together and notice me. i hope she isn't so self-absorbed as to think i'll always be a phone call away...or perhaps hindsight will be 20/20 for her.

either way damsel, it was nice to hold you for a bit. sometimes a man can lose his recollection of what a tender moment feels like.

end of the night: cheek kisses for the ladies, firm handshakes for the guys. as i raised my index finger, i said "one" aloud and sauntered off into the fog without looking back. if it were my last moment, a person who valued such a thing...could spend his whole life chasing that kinda cool.

but what can i say?

some people live as if the camera's on. until i'm cancelled...


Thursday, October 4, 2007

sing 4 the moment...


i hate it when people underestimates your intelligence.

the power of perception leads folks to some ridiculous conclusions about you (the word 'you' being a figurative term that actually refers to me). i won't even get into it, save to say that a lot of us humans are far from the sharp shooters we think we are. people have a tendency to think they have someone pegged...without having any concrete evidence about any aspect of that person's life.

you idiots don't KNOW me.

for a lot of you reading, that statement doesn't register...if you're one of those people, i'm not talking to you.

as for the rest of you...

live n*ggas.


random thing

ok. i'm feeling creative again.