Tuesday, September 9, 2008

look at me, look at you...

here are some fun facts about me, my family, and 'friends':

1. my family and friends spend a sizable part of our existence ensuring that we don't coexist peacefully. they do this by refusing to live and let live. instead they find any and every opportunity to drill into my head that i and all that i am emotionally invested in, or believe is wrong. it breeds deep contempt on my part. i resent that i can not think and feel as i like...as i allow them to. it always ends in an argument or me conceding defeat in some way so as not to have to argue.

2. i was an only child. i was not spoiled. as an only child i was alone a lot. i value privacy and space.

3. that having been said, i wish i did not have to deal with many of the people that i do. they are, for the most part, passive/aggressive pricks. if i'm nice to them, they're suspicious. if i speak to them, they're nasty. if i don't, they're offended. fuck them all...how many of them are gonna cry for me when i'm gone? i think, not many.

this next part is not so much an admission about me, and family/friendly strained relationships than it is words of advice:

1. don't bother yourself with acknowledging other's points of view. don't value their opinions. don't take any responsibility for your own actions.


because other people don't acknowledge YOURS, they more often than not don't value YOUR opinion and they never take responsibility for THEIR actions.

i spent a lot of time having this whole 'take responsibility for your actions' bullshit drilled into my head. so much so that i now have a complex about it. yet, no one ever takes responsibility for their actions or shortcomings...they just spend the whole time pointing out yours...over and over and over again.

2. don't be afraid to take a 'fuck you' stance on someone. your 'friends' more than likely say that about you all the time. and i can guarantee they take that stance on you more often than makes you comfortable.

3. don't let your friends gas you into thinking they're really there for you. for a while i tried to oppose the stance that you're born alone and you will die that way. but this was mainly because as selfish as my immediate family and my so-called close friends think i am, i am not selfish. i just don't have a lot. to the person who equates money with emotional support, this can be jarring. if they took you to the movies and paid for it...you can expect them to throw it in your face at some point in your relationship. however, the countless nights you stayed up late with them while they cried on the phone about some asshole...well, let's just say, the only way to get brownie points with most people is to 'buy' them. don't expect them to remember the positive things you bring to the relationship.

if you guys can't 'trade dollars' then you're probably not as close as you think. true story-

since i'm sure someone will be offended after reading this, i'll save any other thoughts for another post or something. to the people offended in reading this, go get your own blog. call it 'Fuck Has' or something clever like that. i'd read that...in fact you can use the links to my ep and give it to people. yea! tell them to download it and join in on the fuckfest. FUCK HAS!!

otherwise...gofuckyourself. uno