Saturday, October 31, 2009

orange spice & lemon (twilight)

funny how much changes in so little time...

funny how so little changes in so much time...

tea is lonely now.
without my partner there is less incentive to drink.

inside the bubble we have created for ourselves it is as if we never existed.
outside, in the one knows we don't.

the privacy is my shot at solace.

i listen to the same songs and work the angles looking for a mistake.

soon these songs will be all that's left. at least that's what it feels like at the moment.

it has occurred to me that maybe you just need space, so you can process it all.
unfortunately it is at times the most unbearable silence i've had in months. the meaning of can't live, can't live without.

my cat looks on wondering how we manage to make things so complex. he's right...
we've found our way into one of those situations where no one wins, so we find ways to be content with slowly losing...

i lose you.

you lose me.

the first tear i've shed over this rolls off my eyelid. i think it's time i close them for the night.

i had orange spice. she had lemon.


Friday, October 23, 2009

random thing

getting a new blogger template is maaaaad hard.


Thursday, October 22, 2009

new times roman empire

at what point does sensationalism usurp journalistic integrity?

recently i had the displeasure of arguing my way thru and argument i was never going to win. i am an upcoming artist. not upcoming in the sense that i just started, upcoming in the sense that i'm still after all these years struggling to get heard...but having at least some marginal degree of success to that end.

my issue (which in writing this entry will surely come back to bite me) is the idea that BECAUSE i am not the most powerful predator in the jungle, i must concede to any and every misrepresentation thrown my way. the reason is simple: i don't (or can't afford) to rub someone the wrong way.

what this basically means is that you or anyone who fancies him/herself a "writer", "journalist", etc. can portray me in any light good, bad or otherwise...and i have no right on this earth to defend myself or my stance.

and you know what? that wouldn't even be so bad IF the people around me acknowledged that the portrayal was flawed. unfortunately i don't have that kind of "team" support.

instead, someone decides to remember what happened (in this case, a performance i was involved in) in their own avant-garde way, and THIS is fine. i then make a singular comment on twitter and get persecuted for taking things too far. interesting how that works. this "journalist" took complete liberty in rearranging the events of the night, but somehow should NOT be held accountable. meanwhile, my making a comment on any level about anything this person said is beyond reprehensible behavior. i have now jumped the gun, jumped out the window and off the bus. i've made it a completely personal matter, i now (according to my "team") am CONVINCED there is a personal vendetta against me. by saying something at all, i have demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that i am bitter. i have blown things so far out of proportion that there are sure to be repercussions.

was i annoyed by the "based on a true story" version of things now circulating on the internet? a little...

i am much much more livid by my friend's utter LACK of camaraderie. by his complete acceptance of opinion being passed off as fact, and condemnation of me for having an opinion myself. funny how damaging one comment can be. funny how it doesn't apply when someone other than me is making the comment.

i am currently a college student. i study english. i know all about persuasive arguments. at it's heart a review is a persuasive argument. i also know about journalistic spin. there are numerous reasons for it, none of which ever need to be personal. unfortunately...i'm the only one here who understands that.

writer's are OBLIGATED to be careful with their words. there is NO place for frivolity in journalism!


it doesn't matter anyway does it? if the people in question were to read this, they'd just say i was mad. they'd just say i'm overreacting. they'd miss the ENTIRE point of this entry. to them it's more palatable for me to just be a bitter prick who can't take the fact that someone didn't idolize me. to them i naively stick to a pointless argument...probably JUST for the sake of arguing. to them i seem to be something petty and unintelligent. just someone to patronize and kick down.

unfortunately condescension only carries a person so far...after that, you have to pay for walking the fine line.

we all pay at some point.

p.s.- shout out to all the brown-nosers and nut-huggers, ya'll make it interesting. i would say don't be mad, but come'd be mad no matter what i said wouldn't you? would.


Friday, October 16, 2009

back on the scene...

so i tried my hand at transferring this blog to wordpress. it hasn't been so smooth. this was my intended first post. instead it will be a reintroduction to the current blog.


ok back in the saddle. new site, new blog. well...same blog but new-- you get the idea.

i don't know how successful this version of the blog will be. i don't know what changes i'll make to the format and content. that's the fun part though, the mystery and the discovery.

on that note, let's move forward!